“Is it terrible twos? Oh this is just a phase! By the time your child turns five years old he will get out of it, this is all common toddler behavior.”Well the time has come and my child is five going on six years old and triggered by high demands, loud noises, particular noises, and transitions when asked to complete a non-preferred task daily.

Life doesn’t always prepare you for what is to come when dealing with sensory overload when raising a child that can hardly decipher what is too overstimulating all while trying to manage their own emotions, especially during the toddler stages. Children at this age are exploring everything all while using the world to gain a better sense of who they are.

  As a mother of two with a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology, I have worked with children with Autism Spectrum Disorder(ASD) and children with other mental health disorders within the past ten years and this still didn’t prepare me enough to see the signs within my own child. I was blinded, I thought these behaviors were typical toddler behaviors until I had my second child and realized my son required a different approach when assisting daily tasks. This is where I truly learned patience.I learned to take things in steps when approaching a task for my child especially a non-preferred task. 

  I am a thirty year old single mother of two children that are both currently in the toddler stages. I have a five year old son and a four year old daughter.I’ve learned they both have two completely different personalities, a difference in interest, and they both self-regulate their own emotions in different ways. “Stop it’s too loud!”,as my son covers his ears, screaming on the top of his lungs “no one understands me, you don’t get it!, are all statements my son says all while feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated when asked to complete a non-preferred task. This is considered sensory overload.

 Sensory overload is essentially gaining more input from your five senses, than what your brain can fully process, obtain, and tolerate in one setting all at once. Some individuals including children process information differently. In this case my son has a hard time processing multiple demands at once and becomes overly stimulated to noise, particular sounds, and touch to where he becomes increasingly disregulated.

 With sensory overload it may be easier to break down task objectives so they are easier for a child to understand if that particular child struggles with too many demands given at once. For instance, when asking a toddler and in this case when asking my son to clean up toys and get ready for dinner. In the past I’ve stated three things to complete before sitting at the table and this would cause an overload in my child in which he would become disregulated. This would trigger him causing a sensory overload. Causing behaviors such as screaming, shouting, stomping feet, destroying property, and covering ears. One of the ways I thought was very helpful when approaching demands on non-preferred tasks were utilizing visuals, first, then statements such as first, let’s clean up toys, then you can earn time with toys again. 

  You can gradually incorporate first then statements with other steps or with smaller demands such as “Nice job! cleaning up let’s wash hands, now that you’re done washing hands let’s sit down and eat. “ All while remaining patient, utilizing a calm tone and voice, a timer, maintaining those first, then statements and allowing the child to see what they’re going to earn after completing that non-preferred task.Once the child is done eating it’s always great to praise and continue to remind the child about that reward by verbally prompt to state eat first, then you can play with toys again. This will help continue to remind them that that reward and option is still available for them once they are done completing that task they were given. This will help reduce that sensory overload by allowing that child to gain back a sense of their own control.   

   Some interventions that have helped regulate my child’s emotions in situations like this have been approaching the child in a calm tone, setting up a cozy area that has sensory toys, calming toys of that child’s interest, taking space, utilizing effective coping strategies such as breathing techniques, utilizing other visuals, books, white noise, and noise cancelling headphones have always helped regulate some of those strong emotions. Remember to come back to debrief with your child and talk with them about what they are feeling and what can be done to help change that feeling to a more positive thought or shift in feeling.

    I learned that all children learn differently and in this case my son did better completing a task when asked in a calmer tone or voice, when giving a direct direction, when utilizing a timer, and a verbal prompt with smaller tasks initiated. Some children learn differently and I slowly learned that with my son. Being a parent is allowing yourself to make mistakes, continuing to try, embrace other tactics, and to just take it day-by-day.Our children are learning from us! It does get better overtime with management, self-control, self-awareness, and consistency. Just know my son is turning six years old and the sensory concerns are still occurring. It doesn’t go away, but it is managed through interventions, patience, and consistency. Keep showing up and your child will thank you later!



Written by Erika