Q: How did you know your wife was the one?

Physical attraction-wise, pretty early on. But from a personal chemistry/morals/expectations/etc. perspective, that has to happen in sections. COVID was actually a great help—led to us living together sooner than we would’ve planned and ended up loving it. But we had very different dating histories—I had more experience in long term relationships and had a much clearer idea of what I wanted from us as a couple, while she had a harder time letting go of her independence to work as one, which lasted up to weeks before the wedding. So, the journey wasn’t easy, fights were ugly, and the work to be the ones for each other is still in progress, but we’re both in the ring fighting for it and that’s why we made it. 

Q: What advice do you have for newlyweds?

Listen, learn and laugh even more. Can’t take the idea of being married for granted or think showing effort isn’t necessary anymore. Do more of what brought you together. Be even more intentional, romantic, thoughtful and considerate. 

Q: How do you keep your marriage exciting ? 

Be intentional about surprises, dates, vacation and sexual exploration. It’s easy to fall into routines or focus on the kids instead of each other if you start a family afterwards—have to remember to set time aside to put each other first and enjoy each other. 

Q: What was the conversation with your wife prior to saying I do surrounding divorce? 

Divorce hasn’t necessarily been an option, but “is this working” was a common theme for us as we had a child 3 weeks after the wedding and balancing each other and the baby wasn’t easy. Fell into all the complacency traps when it came to each other, putting our child ahead of each other and ourselves. It took time to circle back and find a balance where we can enjoy each other again, adjust how we define dates, and be good parents while also being good partners. We don’t have to choose one or the other. 

Q: How do you feel gender roles play out in your household?

Weirdly, not too much. Outside of taking out the garbage, the heavy lifting and so on, it’s not a big deal. Some adjustments were weird for like me actually having emotions and knowing how to share them. She didn’t always like that. lol. And wanting input with the furniture she bought (I make sure things are safe, functional, and comfortable and not just “pretty”). But the foundation of the relationship doesn’t get impacted too heavily but gender roles.