Closed mouths don’t get fed. If you’re looking to add a little spice to your bedroom grab a seat and I will show you how to introduce a third. This article is not for prudes—well, maybe it could help take you from missionary to feats you never thought off. Sit back and relax.

First question you have to ask is why am I doing this? You want to ensure that a threesome is something that you personally want and desire. It should never come from a place of obligation or the need to appease your partner. Your comfort should be your primary concern. A threesome is a fun, free flowing sexual experience. Having reservations and not bringing them to light prior can later can cause major issues that could have been avoided way earlier. You have the power to say what happens from beginning to end and it’s important that you use your voice early on to ensure your needs and wants are met. If you cannot be comfortable with your own sexuality, introducing another person will hurt more than help. 

The second most important question to ask is are my partner & I stable enough to handle this? A threesome can strengthen a relationship when two people are on the same page and wanting the same things from the experience. Sharing experiences together whether in or out of the bedroom cements relationships and strengthens the bond between a couple. Whether you are married, dating, or casually dating, having a partner that you trust enough to explore uncharted territory is a treasure in itself. A threesome when on rocky terms will not salvage anything, it may actually have the complete opposite effect. You could be introducing you or your partner’s next partner, if you know what I mean.

Third question is who will the third be? Sure, it’s best to go with someone you trust. However, it really depends on the type of relationship you have with that person. Will the dynamic change drastically between you and the third person? Will it be for the better? It may be easier to elicit someone you know casually but that you can build trust with prior to engaging. Sometimes you can change a friendship irreversibly versus creating and fostering a new relationship from scratch. Whomever you choose, it is important there is chemistry between you. Because you are leading the way, the vibes are in your court.

How do you even bring up the topic? Ensure it’s something your partner is open to, a conversation should always be had first. If you’re not sure what to say, practice in the mirror first. There’s no script for introducing a threesome, just make sure the time is right. If you want to practice, say it to yourself in the mirror. It’s a great way to prepare how you want to communicate it without putting other people up in your business. You know your partner best and should be able to get a feel for whether they are interested or not. Your approach may change based on the gender of the third. 

Like any sexual experience, set your boundaries clearly. No surprises in the bedroom because that could put a damper on the moment. Also, make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to recording video or taking pictures. Once again, you’re in control and remember, a picture is worth a thousand words and the internet is forever. I suggest you are very sure of the camera before you make your ménage à trois acting debut.

Imagine the ordeal, picture yourself in the very moment, getting exactly what you crave. How does it begin? What is the setting? The thoughts of lustful buildup should roam freely through your mind opening each hidden door. Make these desires clear to your partner. This approach may seem too direct for some but it may also save you in the long run. Addressing your fantasy helps in a way where you & your other half can explore all possible outcomes and there are not any hidden surprises while in the actual act. Not setting clear expectations could lead to future jealousy or animosity.

Although there are some red flag,s if done right & precaution is used both mentally and physically, there is a world of passion and pleasure to be explored. Who wants to be 80 & wrinkled looking back wishing they had crossed a wild threesome off their list? Sex doesn’t have to be boring. We all have a sweet tooth and a little orange marmalade may do just nicely.

Written by Dominique