Q&A with Pain Gretzky                                Instagram @djpain617

Q: What do you think when you are getting to know a woman and she says she has kids?

A: When getting to know anyone with children. First thoughts are (and generally should be) “what kind of parent are they?” If someone can mistreat their children and don’t care about them, then there’s no possible way they could care for you. Also if they’re a great, nurturing parent they tend to be great partners. But there is no way meeting those kids is an option until you and that person get serious and know that you’ll be in each others lives. Lastly just know that when you’re with someone or marry someone you’re marrying their children and they’re an extension of your partner. So if you can’t their stand kids then you and that person WILL NOT last. 

Q: What’s a deal breaker for you when dating?

A: Everyone has different deal breakers. For myself a few are, smoking, poor hygiene, disrespect of me, my kids, family or their own family. 

But in general deal breakers should be anything that go against you mental and physical belief system, and or moral compass.

Q: When is an OK time to meet the kids?

A: In my opinion the only times appropriate to meet someone’s kids are.

1. If you’ve become serious in the relationship 
2. If you’ve decide the two of you will ONLY be friends

No need to confuse the children, or create bonds that could be broken if the relationship doesn’t work out. Also it’s not good for children to meet every frivolous suitor. 

Q: If a woman has a coparent aka baby daddy who is a problem, do you back away or would you try to find a solution?

A: This is a tough one. If you like the person you offer up a situation for them to try with the problematic child’s father/mother. If they refuse backing away is the best option. There may be some unresolved feelings and issues causing the problems that need to be dealt with before both of them move on and introduce any other variables into that equation.